we don’t spring clean #

So here’s the deal, we don’t spring clean. We set out to do it, maybe do a little bit, then just go back to normal life.

And I’m okay with that. Why? Because who decided you have to clean in the spring? Is this a ritual born out of the ritual of winter hibernation?

we end up with good intentions but lots of shame #

My ADHD means I make awesome and detailed plans, but when I get neck deep into something shitty like cleaning out the shed, I end up with a giant pile in the yard and back on my computer writing a blog post about cleaning.

The difference this time is that my wife is out of town, so I have pressure to get it done before she gets back (along with a few other things she’s asked me to do while she’s away).

and that works for me #

The pressure is one of the few things that actually activates my executive function to work, and I work well under pressure. For things like software development, the pressure is internal. I have my own drive to make it the best I can, and honestly, any outside pressure people artificially create to try and manage my productivity is met with resistance. That’s called demand avoidance (often seen in autistic individuals). Don’t tell me what to do or how to do it; show me the problem, and if the general direction isn’t apparent, specify a few guiding principles that I need to keep in mind. I can handle everything else, including how to get there.

my adhd has led us here #

I’m off on a rabbit trail again, explaining how my brain works, which is usually where I end up in discussions about anything related to my function. I need to understand the gears, and think that things will make sense to other people when I explain the gears of my own mind; but that’s not very often actually the case. Anyway, back to cleaning…

we make life work for us #

My wife and I have what might seem like strange systems set up throughout our house. We’ve had to learn how to hack process to make daily life work, and it does for us. We don’t try to fit into your system, and aren’t trying to make you happy by living life how we do.

I’m so fucking lucky to have found my wife. We make such a great team together. Once in a lifetime relationship with a one in a million person.

… this is all just procrastination before getting back out to the shed to work on cleaning up campaign signs from Harris/Walz; yes, that’s shame you read. also, I don’t like how the last post looks on the front page.

Love you.